Coping With A Difficult Spouse

 Posted on December 21, 2016 in Uncategorized

Dealing with a uncooperative spouse during the divorce process can be very stressful.

Even the most amicable divorce comes with its fair share of stress, but when one spouse is determined to make the situation as difficult as possible, it can seem unbearable. Perhaps one spouse does not want the divorce and they may try to do anything they can to slow the process, hoping the other party will eventually be willing to reconcile. Or, perhaps one spouse is financially dependent on the other and does not want to lose the financial support they had while married. And then there's always the spouse that may see their attempts to complicate the divorce process as their way of “getting even” with their spouse.

The number one issue that divorcing couples have are problems communicating. Communication between spouses may have been difficult prior to the marriage disintegrating, but after the divorce is filed it can become nearly impossible. There are things that can make communication more clear and smooth during the divorce process.

Communication During The Divorce Process

Put all communication in writing. If you must communicate with your spouse in person, it would be good to email them afterwards and confirm what items you discussed and any conclusions or decisions you came to. That way there is a record so that it cannot be later turned into a “he said - she said” situation.

If your spouse wants to meet with you to discuss the issues of your divorce, talk to your divorce attorney prior to agreeing to meet. Strategically plan with your attorney what items you should discuss and what items should be off limits to talk about. Don't agree to anything that you have not discussed with your divorce attorney.

Have a list of items that you wish to discuss with your spouse. If the conversation gets sidetracked, refer back to your list and keep the discussion on topic. It is too easy to let these discussions turn into a heated argument. A difficult spouse may see this as an opportunity to place blame and rehash every mistake that was made in the last 15 years instead of being productive and moving forward.

If the discussion does become heated, take your leave. Arguments often escalate into domestic violence or threats. If your spouse does make threats, take these seriously and contact your divorce attorney as soon as possible. It is most important that you protect the safety of yourself and your children.

Forceful, threatening spouses in a divorce

In many situations, one spouse may have been more forceful than the other during the marriage. They may have been the one that always had to have their way. And just when you felt like you knew the rules of the game, he or she changed the game completely. You may refer to your spouse as “controlling”, “demanding”, or “possessive”. These traits that made marriage difficult can make a divorce feel insufferable. Do not give in! With an aggressive divorce lawyer, you can take the control back. We can help protect you from a threatening, over bearing spouse that has been pushing you around for too long.

When you attempt to communicate with a forceful difficult spouse, always speak with confidence. Don't let them bully you into an agreement that is in their best interest. You do not have to discuss the divorce with them at all; that is what your divorce attorney is for. If you have children, try to keep the communication solely about the children. Even then, if you can communicate through email or text messaging that may be best. That way there is a record of everything that is said. If your spouse makes threats against you or your children, those would be in writing as well and would be valuable evidence if you needed to obtain a restraining order against him or her. And most importantly, if your attorney advises you to cease communication with your spouse and allow communication to be through the attorneys, follow the advice of your attorney.

Difficulty getting financial information during a Madison divorce

Another way that a person will try to control the other is by refusing to cooperate with handing over financial information. If you have a lot at stake financially, it is imperative that you hire a skilled divorce attorney that knows how to legally obtain the correct documentation needed to build a solid case for property division, maintenance, and even child support. If a demand for documents is not met, you need an experienced attorney to file a motion with the court to force your spouse to turn over the needed documents. This is one way that we can turn the tables on a spouse that is attempting to make your divorce as difficult as possible.

Regardless of what your spouse is doing to be difficult, slow the process, or intimidate you to get their way, your best chance to get what you want is to hire an attorney to fight for what you want. You need an experienced, aggressive attorney who will not back down or be affected by the intimidation tactics of a controlling, abusive, or difficult spouse. We can help, contact our office today.